How You Can Help A Friend Or Loved One Going Through Grief

Most of us have a friend or loved one that has experienced the loss of someone close to them. In situations like these, it’s only normal to try and do as much as we can to help them in this time of need, but we can end up feeling that we’re not actually contributing to their wellbeing. Here are some things to think about when you’re helping a loved one through a time of grief.

Don’t take over

This may seem like something strange to mention, but when we’re helping someone go through grief, the lines between helping, and telling people what to do, can become blurred.

It comes down to one simple fact, follow the lead given by the person grieving. You might feel that you may do things differently, but grief is an incredibly personal experience, so just focus on being there for your loved one, first and foremost.

Always stay in the present

Don’t attempt to shift your friend’s focus to the past, before the event, to the future, or when they might expect to overcome their grief. Stay in the present at all times, and help and support them with the pain they are feeling in the moment.

We have no control over what may happen in the future, so pinning their hopes on something that may never happen can be damaging, and the past can never be recalled, so it’s best not focus on it – or if you do, just remember the happy times. Instead, stay focused on the truth of the situation: It hurts now, but I’m here for you.

You can’t fix the pain

There is nothing you can say or do to make your friend’s pain go away. Accepting this truth will allow you to be there for your friend in a truly supportive role, which will help them, even if it is in a way you can’t see right now.

Support them

You should realise that your friend is going through something that has taken over their whole life, for the time being. This means that you can help them immensely by anticipating their needs, and not just relying on “Call me if you need me.” What you can do, is make tangible statements like, “See you tomorrow at 9”, or “I’ll phone you tonight at 8”.

If you need more advice about supporting a friend or loved one going through a period of grief, don’t hesitate to contact us.

Related Tag: Psychologists Melbourne CBD