How Can I Control My Short Temper?

It is perfectly natural to lose your temper sometimes. We’re all guilty of flying off the handle occasionally, but some of us get worked up and lose our cool more quickly than others. There are many situations that may arise in everyday life that will anger, irritate or frustrate you, but if you’re prone to outbursts of rage, it can have a negative impact on your life, to the point of damaging your relationships and even ruining your career. Here are some tips for keeping your cool when your temper is rising.

Stop Yourself Before You React

The biggest issue with temper is that is makes you say and do things you regret later on. Before you do anything else, it’s important to hit the stop button as quickly as you can. Take a few minutes to think about what you want to say or do before you actually do. Try to relax your thoughts and be very mindful of what comes out of your mouth. Taking a moment to yourself before you react is one of the most effective ways to keep your temper under control. Try counting to ten so you can cool down and see where you’re at afterwards. It might sound obvious, but stopping and counting to ten can stop you from reacting too aggressively. If you find a situation is pushing you to your breaking point, stop and step away until you can return with a clear mind.

Just Breathe

Breathe and let your thoughts calm down. Taking deep breaths slows your heart rate and sends oxygen to your brain. A good tip is to breathe in for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds and then exhale slowly for four seconds. Repeat this until you feel calm enough to react.

Practicing deep breathing or meditation before you vent your frustration will not only calm your mind and clear away the negative thoughts, but it will also increase your focus allowing you to judge your actions and words more wisely.

Distract Yourself

Force yourself to focus on another activity, whether it’s listening to music or going for a walk or run. If this isn’t possible, then find a task that will distract you. Something simple like ripping up a piece of paper can help to release the anger in a controlled way. Another great tip is to have something in your pocket, either a coin, a rock or other small object to fiddle with when your anger starts to build. When things get to be too much, switch pockets. Your mind will be forced to focus on the action of handling the object, giving you just long enough to let your mind become clearer. The key to stopping your temper is derailing your mind and changing your focus.

Focus On Possible Solutions

When angry, it’s easy to obsess over the problematic situation instead of concentrating on ways the problem could be solved. Instead of focusing on what triggered your rage, work on resolving the issue. There are many ways to deal with a problem and we have to decide ourselves which suits us best. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.

If Possible, Separate Yourself from What Triggers Your Rage Most

If you can identify the problem or part of your life that causes you the most grief, you might be able to avoid it. In a moment when you’re calm, think about what seems to irritates you and annoys you the most. Is it a specific person? Or maybe it’s part of your job? When you know what it is, talk to someone that can help. It’s not always going to be possible to separate yourself from your triggers, and if you can’t then it’s a good idea to learn how to better prepare for them. Think about what techniques you could use to remain calm and deal with the situation. You may need to deal with people that annoy you as quickly as you can or get a frustrating task done early in the day when you have higher energy levels. Some days will be harder than others, but there’s bound to be ways you can arm yourself to deal with approaching battles.

Seek Help

Learning to control a short temper is a challenge for everyone at times, but if you are suffering from serious and uncontrollable anger, you might need to consult an expert. At Psylegal, our highly trained and experienced Anger Management Psychologists will draw on evidence based treatment strategies to tailor an individualized treatment program, teaching you how to express your anger in a controlled way. Give us a call today on 1300 79 22 09 for more information.